Desultory! (please bear with the randomness)

There's a kind of freedom in being completely screwed, because you know things can't possibly get any worse.
--The Freshman
For your kind information I haven't seen "The Freshman" .
I was just not getting anything to write about so I searched some sites and found this movie quote.
This really describes my present sophomore year at IIT Kharagpur. If you are a regular reader of my blog then you must have realised that I always use the word "really”. I mean I overuse it to such an extent that I do feel that I should stop using this word really!!
Well where was I?
Yeah just checked previous lines for confirmation. I always thought that college life will be the best part of life and waited for it like an Indian girl who waits for her marriage. But I do share same feelings with that married woman who was eagerly looking for her marriage. I must say when I was in my intermediate classes during last 2-3 years of my school life I fell in love with IIT. The passion for a seat in IIT made me crazy.
I know many of my friends couldn't handle their hormonal changes at that vital juncture of life and fell in love with real persons at least they were sensible to comprehend real feelings for real living beings.
I don't mean that my love for IIT was insane or lunatic or zany. I had strong feelings for IIT. I dreamt about IIT, I thought about IIT, I talked about IIT, my morning newspaper search would be news related to IIT. My each and every second was devoted towards thinking about IIT. Now I would stop bragging about my love for IIT as I have just now realised that I've typed IIT 12 times (including the last one).
I also tried to emulate my friends' activities related to flirting and flattery but I realized it that men should do things which are meant for them. I seriously quit those activities and found my own way to enjoy life.
The love for physics made me a person who never raised his head when he noticed some girls around.
It is a well known fact that I'm still remembered for this behaviour. As said by my ex-neighbour, “I’ve never ever seen Ashish more close than 5 meters to a strange girl."
This line may seem quite stupid but the original version in Hindi has a lot of sarcasm and appreciation at the same time that by remembering that line my heart and lips smile at the same instance.
For the people who are searching the girl character in this post I'll not surprise them with not mentioning about girls.
Fact maybe that when I was in love with those "three letters (13th time...)"I stopped thinking about girls but I did love to see some beautiful faces at school and coaching centres. I don't want to name every one of them because of two reasons:
1. I don't want to publicly announce their names
2. I don't remember their names....lolz

Girls have always found a special place in every post and so this time also I'll not change that trend.
Though I never tried to have any sort of interaction with the girls in school our any other place but still........
Life has so many surprises that you always have to face some sweet experiences.
I still remember that day as it was the first time when I was standing in front of the queue for purchasing the admission form for JEE. I was astonished to see that how many people want those three letters before their name. I had no other option but to wait for my turn and stand in the queue. Actually there were two queues; one for boys and other for girls.
As usual the girls are always in minority and they enjoyed a smooth time at the bank (form centre).
To my utter disbelief I recognised one girl as one of my neighbour. I knew that my image in the locality was of a shy boy but this time I'd to break the ice first as I couldn't tolerate that scorching sun over my head.
My conversation starts:
Me: hey stylo! (Oops...I called her with this name)
So to say more on this, this name was given to a girl in our neighbourhood by one and only my sister, as stylo (ooops...again) usually followed latest trends and always returned late at night. I and my sister hated her a lot because of the attitude of Purvi (stylo).
Getting back to that day she finally noticed me, I prayed to god that she didn't heard her new name.
Purvi: Hi! Ashish. (It was the first time she said anything to me)
Me: Hi.
Purvi: So you also need form?
Me: yeah! Can you do me a favour?
Purvi: I know I'll do it just give 1000 Rs. /-
Me: Oh my God are you going to take thousand rupees for this?
Purvi: Stupid! It's the cost of form.
Me: Sorry!
I gave her a thousand rupee note and she gave me the form within 5 minutes.
She offered me a lift to my home on her Scooty-pep.
I although a bit sceptical about this offer I couldn't say no to a beautiful girl. I sat on her brand new scooty.
We had a bit of normal conversation. The main part of that journey was a 200 m distance which was full of jerks. It was a rare occasion that I loved the jerks as you might have guessed the reason. I must say Purvi is very pretty. She looked sweeter with her cute helmet.
We reached her home. She requested me to come to her house. I knew I was not doing a great thing by entering inside as I would be questioned by my detective sister. She told me to wait for 5 minutes in her living room. She came and I was quickly asked various questions by her mother and her. I responded to those like a schoolboy. I was not at all happy with the type of behaviour I'd to face but I was feeling good as I was getting an opportunity to glance at purvi without any loss to my image.

1 strange thing happened which ruined my whole experience.
The JEE-form which was purchased by purvi was for female candidates only.
The rest of the incident is easily workable.

PS: This post is a result of incoherent memories and thoughts
PS: Please comment on my posts


I qualified the JEE-2007 and was delighted to receive phone-calls congratulating me over my success.
This was a big moment for my family as there were many of them who have never ever seen an IITian perhaps.
I was feeling like a celebrity at my home that day. Sweets came from every source and my mouth was busy saying,"Thank-you" or savouring the sweets. In this whole environment of celebration there was one person who was not that happy as she should be. She was none other than Trisha. I was confused as I couldn't get the reason of her cold behaviour. She just smiled and went away. It was quite conspicuous. At that moment I'd no other option but to leave as I'd to convey this news to everybody. But this behaviour of Trisha caught my attention when I was trying to pounce on "Gulab-Jamuns"(her favourite).

I quickly snatched the box of Gulab-jamuns and rushed to Trisha's place. She was sitting idle in her room. I surprised her with my sudden entry in her room. After realising my presence she asked me,"Are you happy?” This was quite unexpected. I mean how could I be not happy after getting selected for IIT. However as every question needs to be answered I said "YES, I am delighted".
Trisha: Do you not think your rank is a bit low?

Me: I agree but it hardly matters as branch and the campus hardly matters, it's only the 3 letters that counts, "IIT".

Trisha: Fine, but I expected a better performance from you.

Me: Hey!! Come-on.

Trisha: Sorry for my bad behaviour; I was bit upset for you.

Me: Ok

Trisha: It's a fact that I was never good at science so I took arts but still I have a feeling that you are very good in science.

Me: Yeah!!Stop it.

Trisha: Well congrats!!

Me: Thanks.....finally are you happy?

Trisha: Yep...

Me: Let’s go somewhere

Trisha: Give me 10 minutes.

She took exactly 9 minutes and 50 seconds to come out of her room. This was not my calculation but my stopwatch said it all. So as usual we went to the "Planet cafe". We always went there whenever anyone of us (we both) were unhappy or in a mood of celebration. This time it was the latter case. Our conversation started with a bit of snacks and coffee.

In the whole conversation I tried to convince her that branch doesn’t matter in an IIT.
This conversation ended but my mind now recalls this conversation very often.
I came to IIT kharagpur. My course is mining engineering. I'm a bit confused over the recent financial crisis.
I think perhaps Trisha was correct ; If I was in a better branch then I could have an option but now I'm left with only one option to straightaway grab any job in the mining field after my B.Tech. I cannot think of a job in the financial sector. This is not me who is speaking but the financial crisis.
Stalwarts from institutes like the IIMs and the IITs who were the hot favourites for foreign MNCs are suddenly left with limited options to say the least. Withdrawn offers from troubled financial institutions like Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch is still comprehensible but even huge technology companies have started pulling out of placement offers they had made to IITians.
I'm confused!!

PS: I think the title should have been "confused" but that was too simple.
PS: Read the post written by me on "Outlooking life" from here
PS: This post could have been a long boring post but.........
PS: Know about Trisha from here

Are all girls innocent?

There are only two kinds of people in this world. First kind, who have entered a girls' hostel and other kind, who wish to visit someday. I know some of you might not agree and might argue about the existence of a third
category, who haven't visited any girls' hostel and never want to do so. But, honestly speaking this kind of people are rare and my blog is for the general mass and I don't care about the exceptions.
What comes to your mind when I say the word ‘girl’?
I know you would be thinking about beautiful faces and analyzing them unless you are not from an IIT. Scene here at IIT is quite different. So, for IIT guys I would like to help their hibernated gray cells.
So here come some pics of sweet faces which at least can make the IITians think that girls' hostel is a beautiful place. So see it then read the following part of this post

So now here comes a usual night at my hostel (boys'). I was searching the IIT Kgp LAN for some videos.
My search entry was always related to girls (I know what is going in your mind).
At last I decided that this search would be my last search and I would download the file which comes at the top. I saw a file named as, “girls hostel (MUST WATCH).avi”. I didn't care what the file was about.
I just opened the kurkure packet and started enjoying the short film err video.
A girl who was looking very decent I mean good-looking, strolled in my HP-laptop's screen and entered her new room. There was a normal sort of conversation which resulted in a quarrel between that girl and her room-mate.
The girl (the main protagonist of the video) was totally mad about cleanliness. I mean she was expecting her hostel to be a salubrious place to say the least. Though her hair
was curly she was looking good. She hated everything about the hostel and college I suppose due to her attitude. The environment created by the director was perfect hostel-like. She also had serious arguments with her seniors and a boy in particular.
I still remember one line said by the girl which surprised me as well as the boy,i.e. “ cheap, disgusting, moron, you f***ing trash can, the moment you see a girl you can't even get hold of your hormones, why don't you try these lines with your mom?”.

If this was not enough she also said this,".......go f*** yourself, a**hole".
The boy must have been furious after this sort of an insult but what he did with his friends was shocking.
They locked the girl in her new room. But she was not alone; to add was a piece of sample from the morgue, a cut hand. Imagine a girl who is a cleanliness freak has to spend a night with a cut hand.
After a while when her room-mate notices that they have forgot to open the lock of her room they suddenly got tensed.
One thing which was unexplainable in the whole plot was that the boy lived in the same hostel which was supposedly girls' hostel. If I'm not correct how you can explain the quick appearance of the guy when the girls are frightened after discovering that the girl is still being locked in the room. The boy comes with a sleepy face and opens the room very casually.
Then he discovers a thing which dumbfounded me. I couldn't speak for at least 3000 milliseconds. Please discover yourself what made me numb.
The time was 3 am and almost everybody in my hostel was sleeping. It was tough for me to attend the call of nature as lights were off everywhere and the bathroom was too scary. I could still not forget the frightening face of that girl.

PS: Finally I got something to write about.
PS: Keep reading my blog, it has been a dramatic journey so far.
PS: Thanks for your support.

Chapter3:This girl is not happy

If you have not read chapter1 and chapter2, read them

She adduced me the cause of the change in her mood. She pointed to a cute, sweet baby who was giving a beaming smile. I know that girls love babies but still couldn't apprehend the cause of her giggle. So with no delay my gray cells ordered me to quench my curiosity with help of Vaishali.
Vaishali started belaboring. She further pointed to the baby. This time I noticed a thing which should have been noticed much before. The sweet creature had performed the indispensable act of
peeing on his father's lap. I thanked god for this gesture by him. Sometimes to make one person smile you need to do some funny, embarrassing things but they are worth it. The father of child must be not feeling good about this but still it made Vaishali smile was more than enough for me at that moment. I saw vaishali displaying her beautiful smile. I felt like hugging her, but I restrained my feelings for her as it is not permissible or morally correct in Indian culture to show such public
display of affection. Once again our chat started.
Vaishali: So, Ashish do u have a girlfriend?

Me :( clean bowled by her question) Nopes (shyness evident).

Vaishali: Are you dating somebody?

Me: No (I couldn't understand what the difference between the two questions is?).

Vaishali: That suggests only two possibilities.

Me: What are those two possibilities?

Vaishali: Either you are not interested in girls or you have bad experiences with girls

Me: What prompts you to think so?

Vaishali: You don't look like a boy who is inherently female repellent.

Me: Hmmmmmmmm.......

Vaishali: I mean you are the kind of boy every girl would love to spend her time with.

Me: Is it?

Vaishali: You struck me as an affable sort of man, honestly.

Me: My pleasure talking to you.

Vaishali: Hey wait!!

Her cell phone rang and she had to receive. While talking I noticed something about her which
cannot be detailed on this public blog (I know what you are job is done).
She looks soooooooooooooo sweet while she speaks, and sweeter while on cell phone. The smile
on her face is for the gossip which is through the cellphone, isn’t it sweet?? Technology has really
invaded most parts of our life. After a long time (veryyyyyyy long) I opened the book (V.S.Naipaul’s...).
Till I could comprehend the first line I was disturbed by Vaishali.I was waiting for this disturbance.
It is strange that sometimes you love yourself to be disturbed.
I was yet again disturbed by one SMS in my cell phone.
I didn't like this disturbance.
The best kind of friend is one with whom you sit on a bench saying nothing & when you get up and go,
you feel you had the best conversation of your life

Yeah Trisha has this habit of sending messages which sound too philosophical but they touch
your heart. So sorry for this distraction but I get a little bit too emotional about Trisha. Remember
To know her, visit this.

After I finished the ceremonial message reading I was questioned by vaishali. The question was quite obvious, “who had sent you the SMS".
Me: Ohh!! She is Trisha my friend

Vaishali: Friend or................????(Obviously vaishali was unaware about this)

Me: Childhood friend and nothing more......

Vaishali: Okk!!

Vaishali reminded me that we are just few minutes away from reaching our destination. I just hated this. I wished I'd more time with her. The train was on time. I wonder why train is always on time when it's not necessary but late when you have to reach on time. Murphy's laws also remind this fact. So I'd to now say good-bye to Vaishali and hope that I keep meeting more Vaishalieeesssss.

PS: Finally this chapter series ends...
PS: Keep reading my blog
PS: My next post will not be a series but it will be the post which I'd admire a lot

Chapter2:This girl is not happy

If you have not read Chapter1:This girl is not happy, read it from here

Thank god!! My journey was now going to be great experience. Just imagine!!! A nice looking girl sitting beside you in a train.
Here is our short conversation:
Vaishali (that girl): So you study in IIT?

Me: yup!! But how did you guess it?

Vaishali: It's written on your book"....IIT KGP".

Me: Ohhh!! You are quite smart and I am a dumb. (I certainly knew that the purpose of book was this only...)

Vaishali: So you like to read this type of novels?

Me: Not exactly but I do sometimes test my patience......

Vaishali: Ohhh!! Then I must praise you for your patience.

After this boring topic was over she started a really unusual topic which certainly rocked me as I was not expecting this from a stranger who hardly knows me. She asked me to be patient to listen her as she wanted to vent out her feelings. It was very difficult to say no to an innocent, sweet girl which needs some time with you.

I waited for her to start but she took very long to gather her thoughts. I wonder she was refining her thoughts to make a proper articulation to me.

Her mother is suffering from a severe incurable disease. To be more precise Cerebral atrophy. She is bed-ridden for the last two years. Vaishali is the only child of her mother and father. Vaishali started expressing her grief to me. That was unexpected but I tried to be calm and patient. I always prefer to keep my mouth shut when matters like this are thrown towards me. In other words I'm a good listener.

So she carried on saying that there is nobody in her home to look after her mother so her father has to face a lot of difficulty in his day-to-day life. She (her mother) cannot walk on her own, cannot take her meal with her hands, and cannot attend nature's call at her wish resulting in her coming face-to face with the atrocities life has in store for her.

I was starting to feel the level of predicament vaishali is in. I began to think how can a man be such strong to handle his wife who is in her vegitative state. I know that how much anybody loves his soul-mate (if they are considered so...) but it’s difficult to look after your aging wife who cannot do a single task on her will. It must be really bad. I was empathizing with Vaishali and her father. Suddenly vaishali giggled. I asked her what was the cause of this sudden change in her behaviour . She explained me why she did so.......
To be continued.....
Keep reading and don't forget to comment

PS: This series is taking a twist
PS: I wish I could help Vaishali

Chapter1:This girl is not happy

Durga puja holidays were over. Time came for leaving my home and once again my mind got strangled in visualizing the boring journey which really gets me annoyed of life.
This time I had different plans. I wanted to boast that I'm an iitian( so cheap) and I took a really nerdy book along with my luggage( my luggage was as heavy as me).

The book rather a work on Indian civilization is written by V.S. Naipaul titled as "India: A Wounded Civilization". I've yet not read the book completely. This reading was not as an interest but I wanted to get some attention which makes my journey a little bit less boring. Unfortunately I was initially not noticed by anyone. That didn't stop me reading.

As I was getting frustrated with the strong criticism of India by the author I heard a sweet voice ," Excuse me ". To my utter disbelief I noticed a pretty cute girl of around 19-20 years. This was the first time a beautiful, young girl broke my silence in a train. She requested me to interchange her place with mine and I couldn't say no to her so I had to shift but it was for something good. I mean really good.
As I still sat next to her. I was wondering should I stop reading and start a talk or keep on with my geeky attitude. My thoughts soon guided me to do the thing which I'm good at so I got interested in the lines which were very difficult to comprehend when you are sitting next to a girl who is perhaps more beautiful than any of your crushes.
Soon a vendor disturbed my thoughts with his bellow. I was not feeling hungry so I thought not to buy any rubbish but that pretty face asked for a lays packet. She didn't have change for giving to that flirty vendor. I was getting very much irritated with the vendor so I handed him a twenty rupees note and asked him to keep his mouth shut. I didn't know why I felt bad when that vendor was gazing the girl but I was not comfortable with the presence of that vendor so I did that. So that vendor finally left us. The girl thanked me and asked my name. I was happy that sometimes unknowingly you do some good things. So our chat started.
To be continued.....
Keep reading and don't forget to comment

PS: This is inspired from a true story
PS: Don't speculate too much I don't have any contact with the girl

The Namesake

On a chilly autumn night a cute, sweet child is born. It's not that important news for millions of people or even billions of people but for a few people this was a very memorable day as they would be addressed by a new word. Grandpa, Grandma, uncle, aunt. The triviality of these words might bore you, but for them it was a very emotional feeling and lucidity of this could only be understood by persons who have experienced this. He (newly born) is the first child in the family of 9 brothers and sisters (maternal').
He is also the first successor of his paternal family. Now it could be a little more clear what am I trying to express. He was the talk of every mouth in the family. As everything, good or bad, unimportant or important, needs a name so that cute fellow was asking to be named. In India, name of a child is a very important thing. Suggesting a name is easy but naming is very disputable when you have 4 grandparents (maternal and paternal), 9+4 uncle and aunties (again maternal and paternal). After all the discussions and meetings two names were shortlisted. One each from two most influential ladies in the family. Two names 1 child, dadimaa (paternal grandma) was adamant over Ashish (divine blessing) and one of his mausies (maternal aunt) wanted him to be named as Gourav (the pride). So this dispute had only one solution to snatch away his surname and name him "Ashish Gourav”. This name is really a distinguishing feature for him as this name is quite uncommon. When he went to school he always had a problem, everybody teased him about this strange thing. Nowadays it is quite common in cities to replace your surname with a name but in that small town he was described as 2 names 1 person. He grew with this name disregard less of two names he liked it because of its rarity.
He went to college. IIT Kharagpur is the college he was selected for. A long first lecture was over and time came for roll-calls (attendance), 1 strange thing happened which startled me. Yeah me I'm Ashish Gourav. I heard my name called by the professor in spectacles twice I had no other option but to respond twice. This happened for two consecutive days( I couldn't understand that why my name was sounded so offensive that prof. has to check for my presence twice) but the third day I heard an echo the second time the prof. said Ashish Gourav, I reckoned this was not an echo but a real human voice. Voice which made me feel that the only thing which made me unique is no longer with me. A new Aashish gaurav (1 thing at least the spelling is not same) was in front of my eyes. I asked about him to further test if we have something more in common. As for now things which are common............

1. IIT (college)
2. Hostel (M.S. hall of residence)
3. Our ancestral house
4. The story behind this unusual name

These things weren't enough he was quite different from me which always put me in a lot more trouble than I anticipated.
To name a few..........

1. A girl rejected my friendship request on orkut as she thought I'm Aashish gaurav and not Ashish gourav.
2. During elections I was thought as Aashish Gaurav and as he was contesting for Hall president (happa-iit lingo) I had to face some serious consequences.
3. One of my interviews was messed up by this namesake.

1.Happy belated Dussehra and ID

2.Sorry for delay in this post.

2.I enjoyed my holidays @ home

2.Just reached hostel 2 hours back.